Being a Better Ally
Being an ally is an antidote to isolation for those targeted by oppression and those in the targeting role--it empowers everyone involved. Our communities need the voices, opinions, and help of people from many different groups.
What is an Ally? An Ally is someone who has privilege and chooses to use that privilege to stand for and with marginalized communities by taking tangible, ongoing actions to dismantle systems of oppression.
In the video: Help Start a GSA, LGBTQ+ and Ally Events, Education (online & in person), Get Involved.
Top 10 ways to be better allies!
No. 1 - Listen
Listen to what people are saying to you face-to-face, on your social media feed, and in the articles you read. It's not about you, your feelings, or your opinions; it is about hearing theirs.
No. 2 - Get Educated
Seek out books, articles, films, poetry, artwork, etc. about the history and current issues facing disempowered communities, and attend formal anti-oppression training such as this one.
No. 3 - Get Involved
Join local groups working for social justice. Subscribe to their email lists, follow them on social media and show up to support their work.
No. 4 - Show Up
When someone from a community that has been disempowered invites you to an event, go, be there to listen, learn, and to show your support. Inviting allies is difficult for many communities and are taken seriously. If you receive an invitation, you are invited.
No. 5 - Speak Up
When a friend, family member, co-worker, or stranger says something hateful or ignorant, call them out on it. Silence allows all oppression to continue. While it may feel difficult to have the conversation, in the long run, you'll be thankful you did!
No. 6 - Intervene
When someone is being targeted - physically and/or verbally - intervene only with their permission. Focus on supporting them rather than engaging the aggressor.
No. 7 - Welcome Discomfort
When you encounter something that makes you uncomfortable, don't dismiss it. Recognize it. Recognize the feeling and that you are having it. Sit with it. Ask yourself why? Welcome the discomfort not as an opportunity to grow but as a feeling, or emotion, that your body is sharing with you is in opposition to what it believes to be true.
No. 8 - Learn from Mistakes
We all will make mistakes. When someone calls you out, don't get defensive. Listen in gratitude that we are in a space where we can rely on each other to do better.
No. 9 - Stay Engaged
Even when the work gets difficult stay engaged. Oppression is constant, and disempowered communities do not have the privilege of turning off the oppression they confront daily.
No. 10 - Share & Donate Resources
Commit your time and your resources to support local organizations doing social justice work. Try to commit not just once but on an ongoing basis.
Watch the Trevor Project’s Documentary Short Film “Learn with Love”, Uplifting Transgender Youth Stories
The Trevor Project is proud to share the first episode of our “Learn with Love” series. We invited three trans young people from all over the country to talk about growing up and the important relationships in their lives. Experience their stories today.
NOTE: Vocabulary is evolving rapidly in these areas, and definitions can often vary across communities and individuals!
The New York Times’ The ABCs of L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ (a quick-read primer on basic identities)
Human Right’s Campaign’s Glossary (quick and handy for referencing)
PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)’s National Glossary of Terms (goes deeper into gender topics)
It’s Pronounced Metrosexual’s Comprehensive List of LGBTQ+ Vocabulary Definitions (the most comprehensive list!)
Conscious Style Guide’s Gender, Sex, and Sexuality Guide (great resources for journalists, reporters, anyone who’s writing about sex and /gender)