Being a Better Ally

Being an ally is an antidote to isolation for those targeted by oppression and those in the targeting role--it empowers everyone involved. Our communities need the voices, opinions, and help of people from many different groups.

What is an Ally?

An ally actively supports, advocates for, and stands with individuals and communities facing marginalization, discrimination, or injustice.

True allyship involves ongoing learning, listening, and taking meaningful action, recognizing that individuals hold multiple intersecting identities (race, gender, sexuality, class, ability, religion, etc.) that shape their experiences.

For 2SLGBTQIA+ (Two-Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Agender, with the plus honoring the spectrum of gender and sexualities) individuals, this intersectionality is particularly crucial, as they may face unique challenges at the crossroads of their sexual orientation, gender identity, culture, and many other aspects of their being.

Top 10 ways to be a better ally!

No. 1 - Practice Deep Listening: Center the experiences and perspectives of marginalized communities, including LGBTQ+ individuals. Be mindful of the diverse experiences within the LGBTQ+ community, recognizing that a Black trans woman will face different challenges than a white gay man. Avoid making assumptions about someone's identity or experiences.

No. 2 - Educate Yourself Continuously: Seek out diverse sources of knowledge, including books, podcasts, documentaries, academic research, and first-person accounts created by members of marginalized communities, especially LGBTQ+ individuals. Learn about the history of LGBTQ+ rights and the ongoing struggles for equality. Understand the specific challenges faced by different segments of the LGBTQ+ community (e.g., trans individuals, LGBTQ+ people of color).

No. 3 - Examine Your Privilege: Reflect on the unearned advantages you may hold, and how these intersect with the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals. For example, if you are cisgender and heterosexual, how does that shape your access to resources and acceptance in society? Use this awareness to challenge your own biases and advocate for more inclusive systems.

No. 4 - Amplify Marginalized Voices: Create opportunities to elevate and center the expertise, leadership, and creative work of people from marginalized communities, including LGBTQ+ voices. Ensure representation of diverse LGBTQ+ identities. Share their stories and perspectives, and advocate for their inclusion in decision-making processes.

No. 5 - Take Meaningful Action: Support LGBTQ+ organizations, advocate for inclusive policies (e.g., marriage equality, anti-discrimination laws), and challenge discriminatory practices in your own community. Recognize that allyship requires ongoing effort and a commitment to dismantling systemic inequalities.

No. 6 - Intervene Against Harm: Develop the skills and courage to safely interrupt harmful behaviors, including microaggressions, homophobia, and transphobia. Learn about bystander intervention techniques and how to support LGBTQ+ individuals who are targeted by hate or discrimination.

No. 7 - Practice Cultural Humility: Approach interactions with LGBTQ+ individuals with humility, curiosity, and respect. Be mindful of the diversity of experiences and identities within the LGBTQ+ community. Avoid making assumptions about someone's gender identity or sexual orientation.

No. 8 - Build Genuine Relationships: Develop authentic connections with LGBTQ+ individuals based on mutual respect and understanding. Show up consistently for the LGBTQ+ community, not just during times of crisis. Be a reliable source of support and solidarity.

No. 9 - Accept Feedback With Gratitude: Be open to feedback from LGBTQ+ individuals about your language, actions, or assumptions. View feedback as an opportunity to learn and grow as an ally. Acknowledge your mistakes and commit to doing better.

No. 10 - Sustain Your Commitment: Allyship is a lifelong practice. Stay informed about LGBTQ+ issues, continue to challenge your own biases, and advocate for equality and justice. Recognize that the fight for LGBTQ+ rights is ongoing and requires sustained commitment.

 

Watch the Trevor Project’s Documentary Short Film “Learn with Love”, Uplifting Transgender Youth Stories

The Trevor Project is proud to share the first episode of our “Learn with Love” series. We invited three trans young people from all over the country to talk about growing up and the important relationships in their lives. Experience their stories today.

 

NOTE: Vocabulary is evolving rapidly in these areas, and definitions can often vary across communities and individuals!

Rainbow Center’s extended vocabulary list.

The New York Times’ The ABCs of L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ (a quick-read primer on basic identities)

Human Right’s Campaign’s Glossary (quick and handy for referencing)

PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)’s National Glossary of Terms (goes deeper into gender topics)

It’s Pronounced Metrosexual’s Comprehensive List of LGBTQ+ Vocabulary Definitions (the most comprehensive list!)

Conscious Style Guide’s Gender, Sex, and Sexuality Guide (great resources for journalists, reporters, anyone who’s writing about sex and /gender)

Progressive Style Guide